The Chair

I believe an entry or two ago, I mentioned that we have a papasan chair...you know, one of those bamboo satellite dish looking things with a cushion in it? They are insanely comfortable, but they also take up a helluvalot of room, and they're very difficult to get out of. Hubs has been wanting to get rid of that thing forever, and I just couldn't do it....until recently.
Let me explain.
Once upon a time, at the mere age of 19 - I made the decision to move in with a boyfriend. We had been together a little over a year, and of course I knew EVERYTHING back then, and I was sick of living at home by my parents rules. I was trying to find a place of my own, but nobody would rent to me because I didn't have any rental history, and my parents weren't about to cosign for me (can't blame them at all for that by the way)...my boyfriend at the time wasn't getting along with his roommate and wanted to get his own place too - so one day, strictly out of convenience it seems, we decided to just get a place together. Looking back on that time, it's all very ODD how it happened because there was never a big discussion of "let's move in together and take our relationship to the next level"....it was more like "hey, do you wanna?" - and "sure, let's do it".
dumb, dumb, dumb - stupid, stupid, stupid
But I digress....anyway, he was a nice enough guy, and we got along great - and despite my parents and family and friends all knowing I'd made a huge mistake...things calmed down after my initial move out and we lived in our first apartment for a couple of years, and then moved to a bigger and nicer apartment...which is when I decided that I really wanted a papasan chair. Back then I think I tried way too hard to be agreeable and avoid confrontation, so I pretty much let him call the shots - and he was completely opposed to getting a papasan chair. I would bring it up from time to time, and it was always a resounding NO from his corner. It was a real sore point for me because our apartment looked like a bachelor pad...seriously - a big ass stereo, guitars, posters, 2nd hand couches, etc, etc - but the ONE thing I really wanted, I wasn't allowed to have - and for some reason I allowed that to happen.
I was with this guy for a total of 4 and half years...and I KICK MYSELF for all things I let him get away with in our relationship. I was way too passive, and didn't stand up for what was important to me as much as I should have. I finally got smart and knew I was never going to marry him, and got the courage to initiate the break up. He took it well, I think he kinda knew that we were going in different directions as well....but then he proceeded to take his sweet time finding his own place (which is what we had agreed on by the way). We lived as roommates for a few months...until we finally found an apartment he could afford and I really had to just PUSH him out at that point. Why would he leave when I was still keeping the place tidy and doing laundry and cooking dinner? And what the hell was I thinking continuing to DO all that stuff? I have no idea...Anyway - the first thing I bought after he moved out? MY PAPASAN CHAIR. I went and bought the one I wanted, and put it in the living room and did my own little victory dance because I was finally on my own and I had finally gotten smart about my life's decisions. It's ridiculous that it took me so much time to finally realize what I wanted out of life, and do something about it. But that chair was definately a symbol for me - I called it my "independence chair", and it just reminded me how good it felt to finally decide that what I wanted was important...and my feelings shouldn't just be cast aside.When hubs came into my life, he knew all about the chair and it's symbol to me...and as much as he hated the thing - he knew it was important and never made me get rid of it. He would suggest it sometimes, like when we bought a new couch and matching chair - and then had this huge monstrosity of a chair crammed in a room because there was no room for it anywhere else...but he fully respected WHY I just couldn't get rid of it. That's the great thing about hubs...he may not have liked that chair - but he understood it was important to me, and he cared more about that than anything else. I definately married the right guy!
So last weekend, I was cleaning and getting prepared for company...and I was vacuuming that chair. I took a break and sat on our sofa and stared at it, realizing that I'd had the thing for 7 years. It had been taking up space in my house and remained a symbol of my independence for 7 years. I sat there and I thought about how often I really ever sat in that chair, and even when I'm not pregnant - it seems to be more of a cat bed and a clutter zone than anything...and why on earth would I need my independence symbol when hubs gives me all the independence I need, and what we have is almost a complete opposite from my previous relationship? Now I'm about to have a baby and my life is going to change completely...and I'm at a totally different place in my life then I was at that age. I don't NEED that symbol in my life anymore, you know? I have everything I want and more.So I resolutely took the cushion out of the chair - decided to give it to Georgia for a dog bed...and hauled that big ole thing out of my house and into the driveway. I took another chair from our office that we didn't really have the room for, and placed that in the living room and decided I really liked how much extra space I had just created.
Hubs came home and didn't say a WORD about the chair....so I finally said "so ummm, did you notice what's sitting outside?"
and he said "well yeah, but I didn't want to assume anything in case you were cleaning it or something"
and I looked at him and said "hun, I've decided to let it go"
and he looked at me with huge eyes and said "really? are you sure? you're really ready to get rid of it?"
and I nodded affirmatively - "I'm READY" I said.
He jumped up and said "well allllllright! let's do this!"and proceeded to make a big sign that said FREE and he dragged that chair down our driveway out to the street. 20 minutes later, it was gone. My independence chair tossed into someone's truck and hauled off to take up space in someone else's house.
Oddly enough, I felt lighter once that thing was gone. After thinking about it, I realized, that perhaps instead of being a symbol of my independence...over the years, it had just become a reminder of a past relationship...and a reminder of some bad decisions I had made...and a reminder that I had let another person make decisions FOR me, instead of with me.

I now sit in a completely different chair, in my now spacious living room, with my hand on my belly, and I think about how different my life is now, and how much I've changed, and how much I have to look forward to. And I smile...

Time Flies

I'm currently 29 weeks along, which just blows my mind. 11 weeks to go...or a little less or a little more - who knows, I think THAT'S the part that freaks me out. We had our ultrasound on Friday, and everything looks great - the kidneys are fine, no more extra fluid in there. Hubs ended up being able to go, his bosses caved and let him come in a bit late...so we had both my parents and hubs in there - which was pretty funny because the doctor walked in and his eyes got all wide "oh man, I better make sure I do a good job this morning because I've got quite the audience!"

At one point during the ultrasound - he was measuring the baby's head, and he looked at me and goes "allright, who's responsible for this big head?" and we all raised our hands, even my parents...hahaha - he patted me on the arm and said "good luck to ya"

GREAT - so my critter will be sporting a giant noggin, think stretchy thoughts people! haha

Also? the kid does NOT like the ultrasound wand because wherever the doctor went - he'd get kicked and thumped.He got a pretty good 3D facial picture and let me tell you it's SO WEIRD to see this because our kid has hub's nose and lips to a tee. If I hold the picture up next to his face, the resemblence is unreal.

I keep staring at this picture because I find it so bizarre. That's my KID in there. At what point will this ever seem real? I'm starting to wonder...
Also, that was our last ultrasound - so the next time we see this baby, it'll be HERE.
***
So Friday morning I piled Georgia into the car, and dropped by my brother's house to pick up Jasper, and my parents ended up bringing their dog Libby to the doctor's office too - so once we were done, mom went to get Libby and she was going to come with me to the dog park, since I had the day off. Well when she opened the door to put Libby in - Jasper hopped out and then Georgia hopped out and then Libby backed herself out of the collar. The next 5 minutes were a calamity of mom and I trying to round up dogs who were STOOOKED to be out of the car and running around a parking lot. I was freaking out because G does not come when I call her and so I have this huge fear that she'll run out into the street and get hit by a car, and Libby lives out in the country - and isn't so good about coming when called either - so mom was trying to round her up - while I'm running around with my big ole belly trying to round up my naughty dog who's just having the time of her life running between offices and cars and soooo not listening to me. Jasper was good and got right back into the car and just watched the scene play out - mom finally grabbed Libby and got HER back in the car...and I finally yelled enough at G that she layed down in the parking lot and let me walk up and grab her. She knew she was busted because I was NOT HAPPY. Mom and I both got in the car and looked at each other and said "what the HELL were we thinking taking 3 dogs to the dog park?" - hahaha
Well, after a stop at Starbucks...we drove all the way out there and they had a blast and came home VERY tired, so it was definately worth it - I just don't know how soon I'll have that bright idea again.

More Random Thoughts

I swear I have the BEST BOSS EVER. Remember how I mentioned that I'll be essentially moving our office to my house, and then the warehouse/tech stuff will be moved to a workshop on my boss's property? Well he's been cleaning out his warehouse and going through stuff - organizing and getting rid of things in preparation for the big move. He came in this morning and said that while he was going through stuff yesterday he found a rocking chair...and his wife insisted that he keep it for me, so that when I come in twice a week - I'll have a place to feed the baby at the "office". So he cleaned it up and set it in a quiet corner where my desk (and probably a playpen) will be for after the baby comes. Seriously you guys, in my emotional state I just wanted to cry when he told me that. How many bosses would DO THAT? Not many I imagine...it just makes my heart flip flop to know that he and my coworkers are going out of their way to make my life easier. I mean come on...I now have my own rocking chair at work - serious warm fuzzies and appreciation happening over here!

***
I am a notorious list maker. One of the habits I've gotten into lately is making a daily "to do" list when I first sit down at my desk. I think it must be because I have such severe belly brain that if I don't write it down, I will inevitably not accomplish anything that day simply out of forgetfullness. Sometimes I make one list for work and one for home - or sometimes I combine them, but I just feel better prepared for my day when I have a list going. Now, that's not to say that I complete everything on the list, in fact I think I've only completed an entire list once, haha - BUT, just having everything written down and having my thoughts organized helps me have a plan for the day. I can sometimes be very spontaneous and that plan goes right out the window, but I think that's probably good otherwise I'd be labeled as anal - and honestly, the only thing I think I'm truly anal about is my checkbook. I have to balance my checkbook every day, or my head will explode.
Anyway - I find myself getting ready for work in the morning and finding certain things around the house that need to be done...nothing major...but just stuff I need to remember like watering the plans, or sending off certain bills, or starting the dishwasher, or stopping at the store (which of course involves another list that I have to doublecheck 58926 times because if I don't have my list, I'll go in for cat food and ice and come out with eggs and string cheese). These days my lists are like my lifeline to getting everything ready and feeling better prepared for this big life changing event we're going to be experiencing. I feel like if I do something every day, then I won't be stuck stressing at the end or feeling like I'm not ready....course I have a sneaking suspicion that no matter what I do, I'm still not going to feel completely ready.
Eventually I guess I'll be putting "GIVE BIRTH" on the list...just for the sake of being able to cross it off - ha!

***
Speaking of lists...here is a list of things I've noticed lately about my comfort level:
-I've discovered that I can't sit very comfortably anymore. Sitting on the couch, I'm only good for a few minutes of regular sitting before I end up in the leaned back to make room for the belly position...and even then, I'm still not comfortable and I find myself fidgeting alot or getting up and fussing around the house.
-We have one of those papasan chairs in our living room, and I absolutely cannot sit in that thing if I'm home alone. Hubs has to help me out of that chair, or I'm like a turtle on it's back with legs and arms flailing around.
-In bed, when I need to switch sides, I kind of roll back and forth a couple times just to get up the momentum needed to hoist this belly over...you would think that all this movement would wake up the hubster, but so far he has slept through it every time.
-You know how when you finish a big meal and feel sort of "uncomfortably full"...like you want to go home and put on your elastic pants? Yeah well, pregnancy gives a WHOLE NEW MEANING to the term uncomfortably full. If I don't eat slowly and give myself a chance to digest before deciding if I'm done, then I seriously regret it later and I swear that my belly has doubled in size and there isn't an elastic pant on this earth that will make me comfortable.
-Shoes with laces are challenging and I usually feel like I need a nap after that particular event.
-Whenever I sneeze, I get this major sharp pain way down low and I end up wincing and bent over cursing (not to mention legs crossed)...hubs swears that I must be scaring the poor kid and it's in there with all four limbs stuck straight out against the inside of my belly going "what the hell was THAT?"
-My cats are pissed because my lap is getting smaller and smaller. In fact just the other day Tweak crawled up on me and then proceeded to flop over on his side like normal, except that there wasn't enough lap left and he rolled off onto the floor and then glared at me and stomped off in a huff.
-Dropping something on the floor is a much bigger deal now than it ever used to be...The other night while cooking dinner, I dropped THREE different spoons on the floor - and just kept getting new ones until hubs came into the kitchen and could pick them up for me. Yes, I AM that lazy.
-The kicks are getting harder and harder, and while I still think it's wierd - I also think it's incredibly cool to be able to sit in one place and watch my belly jump and move on it's own....I think I will really miss that once this baby comes. There is just something about being able to feel that movement - kind of a reassurance that everything is okay in there.

***
Some pictures I found on my camera....
One morning, I was sitting on the floor putting on my shoes - when I felt a staring, and I looked up and saw this from the top of our dresser:

He looks like he could jump on my face and suck out my eyeballs or something.

This one was during Christmas while I was wrapping stuff - I had set this box out to package some stuff up and looked over and found that Not-So-Tiny had crammed his big butt into this thing...

well this was just the most random post ever...my thoughts are all over the place today!

Busy, Busy

There's a crib in my house...
and instead of looking like this: It now looks like this:

Well, the baby's room is started at least! We finally did what we set out to do over the weekend and painted and sanded our butts off. Okay, hubs painted - I sanded (with a mask, for all you worriers out there...MOM).
Let's see, Saturday morning - I slept in until about 9am, which felt SO GOOD. We got dressed - loaded up the pooch, and headed out for pancakes. You know, hubs and I would have been fine with just a bowl of cereal or something so we could get started on the day already - but the BABY was demanding pancakes...so I sucked it up and accomodated.
We then headed to the dog park for about an hour so G could burn off some energy. After fully wearing her out, we went to home depot and picked up all the supplies and paint we needed...and then after stopping at coffee bean for a pick-me-up (again, ALL baby's idea) it was back home to get crackin.
We took EVERYTHING out of the room and piled it all in the living room - which basically means, we couldn't even see the tv by the time we were done what with all the crap stacked everywhere. Hubs moved the bookshelf and the desk/changing table outside for me so I could start sanding...and he got started painting the room.
Tiny decided to get comfortable on our bed which was leaning up against the couch in a very awkward position:

Just Chillin
And a few hours later, he was still there...but decided to REALLY relax:

Those back feet just kill me...this is his "don't bother me" face.

Honestly - in my head, I figured sanding would take maybe a couple of hours...not all damn afternoon...but that's exactly how long it took. The bookshelf is one that my dad built when I was about 4 years old - and hadn't been painted since, so it was pretty hammered and the paint on that sucker was THICK. I wasn't trying to get all the paint off - but I wanted to at least have a smooth surface to repaint, you know? I mentioned to my mom how long it took and she goes "oh yeah, that must have been during your dad's enamel paint phase of 1981" - ha! Apparantly he thought enamel paint was the bomb back then...nevermind that it went on like MUD.
Anyway - after sanding and spackling in dents and sanding AGAIN on both peices of furniture - I had to give up for the day and save the painting for Sunday. Hubs was pretty much done in the room - he just had some trimwork to finish up, and the baseboard to touch up as well.
We actually showered and got dressed and went to church Saturday night too, which was impressive for all the work we'd both done...but my parents rewarded us with pie afterwards, so that was cool.
So Sunday morning - we got up and went to the hardware store to pick up a few things we'd forgotten and we picked out some handles and contact paper to line the desk drawers as well.
Got home, and started painting - unfortunately for me, it was super hot that day....but fortunately it at least helped the paint dry quickly, and hubs came out and painted the desk for me - so we got that stuff done faster than expected.
I got this desk second hand from a college student when I was in 8th grade and it was supremely beaten up from all the years spent in my bedroom, and then being moved around with me three different times. Here is a before:

aaand after:

It came out much better than I expected...and I've spent the last two evenings installing new handles and lining the entire insides of all the drawers with sage green contact paper. I SUCK at lining things...in fact, so far every time I've moved - I've gotten my mom to come line all my drawers and shelves because she is the master, and I'm terrible. But hubs and I are working our way through Season 1 of the Unit on Netflix, and so it's a good time for me to do tedious stuff like lining drawers, ha! I decided to do all the sides as well as the bottom since I'll be using this as a changing table and will have diapers and things stacked in the drawers.
Here is the bookshelf before:

and after:

This is probably the best picture to show the color we painted the room. It's called Aqua breeze and it's a veeeeery subtle pale blue. I wanted the color to be really light because there is only one window and the room is dark anyway - so this color ended up being perfect, it's not BLUE! it's blue....hahaha.
That chair there is going to be my rocking chair - it's actually an IKEA chair, but it's super comfy and the arms are down low enough to be comfortable for a short person like myself to hold a baby in. The chair pad doesn't exactly match the rest of the room, but I've decided I don't care.
So there you have it - we still have to sand the dresser - which is almost exactly the same honey color as the crib, and then we'll be DONE with the furniture. We're in the process of washing all the bedding - and we have a new bedskirt and bedspread to put on. I also need to wash all the baby clothes and blankets that we have so far and start putting things away. The closet still needs a good sorting out as well. My wedding dress is still in there crammed in a garment bag...never been dry cleaned since I wore it almost SIX YEARS ago. So maybe this week I can actually take it in and have it cleaned and boxed nicely.
At some point during the day on Sunday, I pulled a muscle and had to sit on the balance ball for about an hour because I was in so much pain...that sucked. I keep having to remind myself that I can't just DO all the stuff I want to do - this body doesn't cooperate like it used to - the baby starts complaining after a while. I'm STILL a bit sore and it's Tuesday...so there is much ball sitting going on in my house (if THAT sentence won't get the googlers hoppin, I don't know what will!).
I leave you all with a 28 week picture of my ROUND-AS-CAN-BE belly...I'm continually amazed at what I look like from this angle. The next 12 weeks are going to be interesting to say the least. I might have to take two pictures and put them side by side because I may not be able to fit my entire belly into one picture...just LOOK at how this thing has grown! hahaha Just for the sake of comparison...this was 24 weeks:

Operation Baby Update

I had a doctor's appointment today and I passed the glucose test! Yippee! Not sure why I was so worried about that (gummi bear addiction maybe?) but I'm really glad I don't have to worry about it anymore. They did find out that I'm slightly anemic, so I've got to take an iron supplement every day. Doc said that it's very common at this stage of pregnancy because the baby is growing alot and snatching all my nutrients. ha!
Unfortunately, I gained FIVE POUNDS since my last appointment, which was only a month ago. Yeesh - that's the most I've gained so far...that puts me at 12 pounds total. Doc said that's actually pretty good for being almost 28 weeks and I shouldn't worry about it - but 5 pounds in 4 weeks just seems like alot to me. He chalked it up to the holidays and told me to not to think about it and just try to eat healthy and drink lots of water. I think I've been lacking with the water thing lately...and the eating healthy thing...so I can definately focus more on both.
He found the heartbeat right away and said it's good and strong, and then told me that the baby is in a breech position - which explains why the top of my belly is so hard, but all the kicking is way down low. (which reminds me...ahem, kid? you think you could stop doing LORD OF THE DANCE on my bladder? thanks) He said this is also normal and that the baby will change positions alot between now and birth. I'm now switched from 4 week appts to a 3 week appt - and then down to 2 weeks and then 1 week and then there will be a BABY IN DA HOUSE. Frickin wierd.
So that's the update for now - we have an ultrasound scheduled for the 18th to check the fluid levels in the baby's kidneys...so I'm hoping to have some pretty good pics to share. Hubs and I are planning on taking the day off together and setting up some appts with a few pediatricians we'd like to meet. Doc said that's our next step, and we should start "interviewing" and making a decision. Again..frickin wierd.

This weekend is supposed to be sunny and clear, so the plan is for hubs to start painting the room - and I'm gonna start sanding furniture for repainting. It would be AWESOME to have it all done by this weekend so we can actually start setting up the room...but I'm trying not to count on it because things like this usually take alot longer than expected. We have a bookshelf, a desk (changing table), and a dresser to sand and paint, so we'll see how it goes. It'll be nice to start washing some of the blankets and clothes we've been given and start putting things away. I'll have to try to remember to take before and after pictures.

Time to go guzzle some water now...

Random Stuff

(Originally posted Tuesday, January 08, 2008)

Yeah baby...hubs did ALLLLL the laundry yesterday. Now, usually when I say hubs did laundry I mean hubs put clothes in the washer and the dryer and then piled them all on top of our dining table where they remain until all 3 cats have had turns sleeping on our clean warm clothes, thus creating mounds of cat hair and the need to rewash everything. Or he'll pile it all there and suggest "a folding party!", which kinda sucks because it's usually been there for so long that everything is all wrinkled and schmunkled.
But THIS time...he actually folded everything right as it came out of the dryer - AND put everything away in drawers or on hangers. You guys, I'm flabbergasted. I actually for a brief moment thought body snatchers had entered my home.
I recently put this sign up in the laundry room:

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WORKED!

****

My brother recently bought himself one of those new style mini-coopers. It's sort of his "fun" car...since he's got 3 kids, and no chance of the entire family of five fitting into that thing all at once. But he loves it - he's always wanted one, and I guess they decided to go for it. Hubs and I stopped by their house to check out his new wheels and he tossed me the keys and told me to take it for a spin. My older neices (6 and 8 years old) wanted to come with, so they climbed into the back seat, hubs rode shotgun, and I drove off feeling like a total badass chick driver...think Charlize Theron in the Italian Job. That thing was SO FUN TO DRIVE! I drove for a bit, with the girls shouting "go auntie!" in the backseat...and then I begrudgingly pulled over so hubs could have a turn. We were both very impressed at how that little car handles corners and had a total blast driving it. So this Christmas we got a very appropriate onsie for "the bun" from my brother and family:

How cute is that?
****
Not sure if I've ever mentioned it....but mom is a signpainter - but she also does alot of interior stuff for people, murals and things like that. When my brother and sister in law were pregnant with their 3rd child, they decided to do a theme in the nursery from the book "Guess How Much I Love You?". My mom and CC looked through the book, and chose a couple of pictures for mom to paint on the walls. I was going through some of my computer pics today and stumbled upon some pictures of the nursery. I'm so amazed at how my mom can just look at a picture and then dictate it onto a wall with a paintbrush. Seriously - she's so talented...and I can't even draw decent stick figures. Check these out:

My brother and his family knew they were going to be at their current house for quite a few years, and they got permission from the landlords to do such a scene on the walls. But in our current position, I would hate for mom to go through all the trouble of painting something on the walls and then risk us finding a house to buy and having to leave it behind. She did paint some wood cut-outs for some people once who were renters and wanted to be able to take it with them...so that sort of thing would be a good option for us. Their son's room had a superman theme, so she did this:

Pretty darn cool. Sooo...since I've gotten such great advice from all you blog readers in the past, if you were me and you weren't into themes per say...but you had a talented mom who was willing to do a nifty little something or other for the walls of your baby's room - what you have her do? I'm kind of at a loss, and tempted to just let her sit this one out and just help me decorate and get the room together without a specific painting project. But I don't know...any suggestions??

A peek into my world...

(Originally posted Monday, January 07, 2008)

Hubs is home sick today...and the following conversation recently took place over the phone:

"Hi honey, hey..while you're home do you think you could make a few calls?"
"sure - I've just got some laundry going right now"
"oh reeaaally? Playing Coco the houseboy are we?"
"hahaha....yeah, sort of"
"soooo - is there a speedo and a feather duster involved?"
"umm, babe - no speedo - that would be like wrapping a rubber band around an orange"
"haha - okay, how about some Lady Marmalade action then?"
"Gitche-Gitche-Ya-Ya..."
"okay you can stop now"

aannnnnnndd THAT would be a pretty typical conversation in our household.
Scary that someday soon we're going to actually go to the hospital - and then they're just going to let us come home with a baby. BY OURSELVES.
In fact, that kinda makes me laugh - because I remember when we adopted Georgia and we had to fill out like 4 pages of questions about our "parenting" skills. How much time we'd be spending with her - what our philosophies were about potty training - whether or not we'd be enrolling her in dog obedience school - how much time she'd be left alone during the day....it was crazy - I mean I'm glad they do it, but I'm pretty sure that to have a baby they don't give you questionaire's like that (or do they? ha!). So we had to jump through all these hoops to prove we'd be good doggie parents and yet any ole Joe Schmoe can walk into a hospital and leave with a baby. There is something soooo backwards about that.

Course - if anyone were to tap our phones to become reassured of our fantastic parenting skills - we'd be totally screwed.